Saturday, September 06, 2003
Yeah, that thing that made someone upset happened today...and all I know to do for it is just keep giving hugs...I really wish there was something else I could do to help though...
It's absolutely crazy...in the last week, nearly every couple in our group has broken up. Sb and Tanner, Jill and Zach, me and Matt, Katie and Dave...only Megan and James, Rachel and Dillon, and Hannah and Ross are still together. That's crazy.
Things are definitly still ackward...but tonight we went bowling and it just felt like everyone could hug eachother, which was nice...although I got rather jumpy when Matt kissed me on the cheek and he didn't notice until Jill said something about it...habbit I guess. I stick to my belief that I do better at things without pressure...because tonight I didn't feel like I had to impress anyone. I just wanted to have fun, not really caring what other people thought of how I did, and I ended up doing better than normal for a lot of the frames. I got slightly competitive at one point...and that's when I started getting worse again. I'm not a pressure person apparently, unless it's like psychology stuff, because all of that seems to be pressure.
Anyway, I've been doing some thinking and realized how much I give in to things. With everything, my response is always "oh, it's okay, don't worry about it..." even when it's really not. I'm not really sure what to do about that...because sometimes that drives me insane...but people say I'm really understanding when I say those things...and sometimes I AM being understanding, and I really believe what I say...but other times I don't. Problem is...I tend not to know which way I feel about things until they're over...so I can't just say that I'll change my attitude per situation.
Ok the words on the screen are litterally blury and I can hardly see them because my eyes keep closing...I'm incredibly tired today...so I'm going to bed. Tomorrow= thereputic massage thing at 11:30, homework, then to Sbs...so need sleep now so I can seriously work on that project for English; must get that done this weekend. Good night.
It's absolutely crazy...in the last week, nearly every couple in our group has broken up. Sb and Tanner, Jill and Zach, me and Matt, Katie and Dave...only Megan and James, Rachel and Dillon, and Hannah and Ross are still together. That's crazy.
Things are definitly still ackward...but tonight we went bowling and it just felt like everyone could hug eachother, which was nice...although I got rather jumpy when Matt kissed me on the cheek and he didn't notice until Jill said something about it...habbit I guess. I stick to my belief that I do better at things without pressure...because tonight I didn't feel like I had to impress anyone. I just wanted to have fun, not really caring what other people thought of how I did, and I ended up doing better than normal for a lot of the frames. I got slightly competitive at one point...and that's when I started getting worse again. I'm not a pressure person apparently, unless it's like psychology stuff, because all of that seems to be pressure.
Anyway, I've been doing some thinking and realized how much I give in to things. With everything, my response is always "oh, it's okay, don't worry about it..." even when it's really not. I'm not really sure what to do about that...because sometimes that drives me insane...but people say I'm really understanding when I say those things...and sometimes I AM being understanding, and I really believe what I say...but other times I don't. Problem is...I tend not to know which way I feel about things until they're over...so I can't just say that I'll change my attitude per situation.
Ok the words on the screen are litterally blury and I can hardly see them because my eyes keep closing...I'm incredibly tired today...so I'm going to bed. Tomorrow= thereputic massage thing at 11:30, homework, then to Sbs...so need sleep now so I can seriously work on that project for English; must get that done this weekend. Good night.
