Jens Blog :-)

Yesterday was really hard...I broke up with Matt. I was so freaked out beforehand...I gave Dave a hug and I couldn't even talk, I litterally couldn't make more than a few words come out. Then, when I talked to Matt about it...ugh, everything came out all wrong. I had a nice little speach planned out in my mind...yet instead I started crying and everything just came tumbling out, not at all like I wanted to say it. And then I felt absolutely rediculous because I was being comforted by the person I'd just broken up with.

The rest of the day was just off and on with emotions. You'd think since it was my choice, I'd be fine with it...but I wasn't and I guess I'm still not. I know it needed to be done...but in some ways, I really hate that it was. I just need some time to get used to it, I guess. Matt gets extra sweet points though-he came up to me after school to see how I was doing, and then called later to check on me again. Part of me was like "Why did I leave this again?" but I guess feelings just change sometimes...and I was afraid if I didn't get out, our friendship was going to be ruined, and I'm not willing to let that happen. I still have a strong emotional connection to him, and I don't want to lose that...it's just the romantic part that's gone. Yet still...I keep fighting tears when I think about things, like right now.

Time to get ready for school...more later if I have time tonight.