Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Mmm no ones talking because I think I scared them all away for a while lol. So I'll blog.
Sunday...Went to Joann's and AC Moore to get some T-shirts for ASP (they're usually $3.33 but they were on sale for $2.50...and either way, that's great for ASP!) and some craft stuff...some really really neat yarn that I'm in love with even though it's hard to work with because it's crazy and has a thin main piece with tons of thread stuff coming off of it. Someone apparently called my name out the window of a car in the parking lot, which I didn't hear but that's what my dad said, and he couldn't tell who it was...so I'm currious...and if it happened to have been anyone that read this, lemme know? Little things like that bother me when I don't know stuff lol. Anyway, I went to Davey's that night for a gathering...where poor Matt and Zach got to run all over Cary and Apex lol...First they went back to Matt's house to get a shirt for Anna, then back, then to my house for DDR pads, but my brother wanted to use the PS2, so they had to go back to Matt's to get his, as well as to Jill's for some eyedrops, and Schalotzkies (mutilated spelling, sorry) to see Aliana. Anyway, the rest of us watched Signs...which I discovered isn't nearly as scary as it was in theaters. The scene where the lady was dying kinda shook me though...even though I'd seen it before...I've just got a thing about death lately...so I just held tight to Corey during that part and bit my tounge. Then some people played DDR, and the rest of us just hung out...and Anna and I giggled a lot, which made Marc decide we had another evil plan...not that we uhh exactly discouraged that idea hahaha. We kept seeing 42s throughout the night...lol...It just felt like time went too fast though...I wanted more time to be with Corey and all the others. Oh well.
Today, I got up and went to physical therapy...which was err rather exausting lol...then home for a while, where we tried to plan a double date for Anna, Marc, Corey, and I to go see Harry Potter 3, but Corey didn't get off work until late, so Anna and Marc went to see Shrek 2 instead. Worked for me though lol; I got to finish re-reading the book (for the unknown but large number of times) before seeing the movie, which I've done for both of the other releases.
This evening we had our first band practice/bible study group at church...where there were only 6 people including Anna, Rachel, Ally, and me lol. It worked though. We learned some new songs and then read through Jonah...and talked about it and some other related things...and I did a lot of questioning about God's path for us and the how it's affected by the choices we make. It made me think a lot about giving up psychology a while back...and wonder what extent it's ok to let it remain in my life...because it stresses me and it upsets me a lot...but sometimes that has to happen I guess. We had a whole chocolate milk analogy about it that's really making me crave chocolate milk but we don't have any lol...I should chop up some chocolate really finely and shake it in milk for a long time and see what happens. And Ally decided drawing on the board is cool and so are Vegitales lol. I felt totally stupid only knowing the 4 year old version of Jonah and not knowing that that's an actual book of the bible. We might have to each take a turn teaching a section/book/some sort of lesson...and I've already claimed me having Anna as a partner because I can't do that alone. My bible knowlege is pathetic. Anyway, so it was fun for the most part, but the end with the questions and psychology and some Brianne and Kassel references...I wasn't doing so great.
I came home and saw Corey's away message, which basically said he'd had a crazy long, hard day at work...which made me worry to begin with...Then I got a call from someone asking if I could babysit on Friday but I decided I wanted my one free day this week to stay open for something fun, so I told him I had plans lol. I took a shower and came back and then Corey was on...but he had to go soon becauses Hannah got on...so we -gasp- talked on the phone for a while...and then he got online but his internet basically died so we talked on the phone some more lol. Then he went to bed...and I got online and basically broke down in tears and talked to Anna for a while about some stuff that was bothering me and worrying me...and of course, Anna the miracle worker made me feel much better.
Tomorrow (well, today now) I get to go to the orthopediest for a checkup type thing...no official plans for the rest of the day...Going to see what time Corey gets off work and how he's feeling and then maybe do something with him, depending.
You know, if it weren't for the stupid AP English list I got today that has entirely too much work to do over the summer on it, I'd want school to hurry up and start again. I mean, it's great to not have to worry about so much school work, but at least at school I know I can see everyone *cough-Corey-cough O:-)* everyday...and honestly, stress seems quite abundant anyway. School could actually probalby take some of that away oddly enough, though I'm sure it'll add even more because that's just how things work out lol. What I really want is like a week (at least!) where all of my friends are here...no one on vacation, no one has to work, no one worried about summer reading and journals for AP classes, no worries about anyone else, and no stressing about those kinds of things...I want some escape time...and I thought last year that summer would be a nice break, and I did the same this year, but apparently not. I'm just sick of being worried to tears about things...and it seems like they keep piling up and I don't know how to fix them, and honestly a lot of me doesn't want to deal with fixing them...and I think I'm going to go with Anna's view on that part at the moment and say that it's ok not to fix everything, or even to not try. It's still hard though...and I'm still plenty worried about plenty of things, no matter how rediculous they might seem. *feels like crawling into Corey's arms and hiding there for a while* But I'm ok...and I've got my wonderful friends that I can't ever thank enough *huggles Anna bean* and I've got my faith, no matter how much I question parts of it. And you guys are just going to have to slap me once in a while to keep me from being too agrivating. I swear there was something else I wanted to say and I can't remember what it was.
One more thing though...I'd really appreciate if you guys would kinda lay off on the killing/dying jokes...especially the suicidal sounding ones, even if it's just "shoot me now" or "I think I'll just die now" or whatever in a totally kidding way...They've bothered me for a long time, but it's gotten worse lately...so...thanks.
Sunday...Went to Joann's and AC Moore to get some T-shirts for ASP (they're usually $3.33 but they were on sale for $2.50...and either way, that's great for ASP!) and some craft stuff...some really really neat yarn that I'm in love with even though it's hard to work with because it's crazy and has a thin main piece with tons of thread stuff coming off of it. Someone apparently called my name out the window of a car in the parking lot, which I didn't hear but that's what my dad said, and he couldn't tell who it was...so I'm currious...and if it happened to have been anyone that read this, lemme know? Little things like that bother me when I don't know stuff lol. Anyway, I went to Davey's that night for a gathering...where poor Matt and Zach got to run all over Cary and Apex lol...First they went back to Matt's house to get a shirt for Anna, then back, then to my house for DDR pads, but my brother wanted to use the PS2, so they had to go back to Matt's to get his, as well as to Jill's for some eyedrops, and Schalotzkies (mutilated spelling, sorry) to see Aliana. Anyway, the rest of us watched Signs...which I discovered isn't nearly as scary as it was in theaters. The scene where the lady was dying kinda shook me though...even though I'd seen it before...I've just got a thing about death lately...so I just held tight to Corey during that part and bit my tounge. Then some people played DDR, and the rest of us just hung out...and Anna and I giggled a lot, which made Marc decide we had another evil plan...not that we uhh exactly discouraged that idea hahaha. We kept seeing 42s throughout the night...lol...It just felt like time went too fast though...I wanted more time to be with Corey and all the others. Oh well.
Today, I got up and went to physical therapy...which was err rather exausting lol...then home for a while, where we tried to plan a double date for Anna, Marc, Corey, and I to go see Harry Potter 3, but Corey didn't get off work until late, so Anna and Marc went to see Shrek 2 instead. Worked for me though lol; I got to finish re-reading the book (for the unknown but large number of times) before seeing the movie, which I've done for both of the other releases.
This evening we had our first band practice/bible study group at church...where there were only 6 people including Anna, Rachel, Ally, and me lol. It worked though. We learned some new songs and then read through Jonah...and talked about it and some other related things...and I did a lot of questioning about God's path for us and the how it's affected by the choices we make. It made me think a lot about giving up psychology a while back...and wonder what extent it's ok to let it remain in my life...because it stresses me and it upsets me a lot...but sometimes that has to happen I guess. We had a whole chocolate milk analogy about it that's really making me crave chocolate milk but we don't have any lol...I should chop up some chocolate really finely and shake it in milk for a long time and see what happens. And Ally decided drawing on the board is cool and so are Vegitales lol. I felt totally stupid only knowing the 4 year old version of Jonah and not knowing that that's an actual book of the bible. We might have to each take a turn teaching a section/book/some sort of lesson...and I've already claimed me having Anna as a partner because I can't do that alone. My bible knowlege is pathetic. Anyway, so it was fun for the most part, but the end with the questions and psychology and some Brianne and Kassel references...I wasn't doing so great.
I came home and saw Corey's away message, which basically said he'd had a crazy long, hard day at work...which made me worry to begin with...Then I got a call from someone asking if I could babysit on Friday but I decided I wanted my one free day this week to stay open for something fun, so I told him I had plans lol. I took a shower and came back and then Corey was on...but he had to go soon becauses Hannah got on...so we -gasp- talked on the phone for a while...and then he got online but his internet basically died so we talked on the phone some more lol. Then he went to bed...and I got online and basically broke down in tears and talked to Anna for a while about some stuff that was bothering me and worrying me...and of course, Anna the miracle worker made me feel much better.
Tomorrow (well, today now) I get to go to the orthopediest for a checkup type thing...no official plans for the rest of the day...Going to see what time Corey gets off work and how he's feeling and then maybe do something with him, depending.
You know, if it weren't for the stupid AP English list I got today that has entirely too much work to do over the summer on it, I'd want school to hurry up and start again. I mean, it's great to not have to worry about so much school work, but at least at school I know I can see everyone *cough-Corey-cough O:-)* everyday...and honestly, stress seems quite abundant anyway. School could actually probalby take some of that away oddly enough, though I'm sure it'll add even more because that's just how things work out lol. What I really want is like a week (at least!) where all of my friends are here...no one on vacation, no one has to work, no one worried about summer reading and journals for AP classes, no worries about anyone else, and no stressing about those kinds of things...I want some escape time...and I thought last year that summer would be a nice break, and I did the same this year, but apparently not. I'm just sick of being worried to tears about things...and it seems like they keep piling up and I don't know how to fix them, and honestly a lot of me doesn't want to deal with fixing them...and I think I'm going to go with Anna's view on that part at the moment and say that it's ok not to fix everything, or even to not try. It's still hard though...and I'm still plenty worried about plenty of things, no matter how rediculous they might seem. *feels like crawling into Corey's arms and hiding there for a while* But I'm ok...and I've got my wonderful friends that I can't ever thank enough *huggles Anna bean* and I've got my faith, no matter how much I question parts of it. And you guys are just going to have to slap me once in a while to keep me from being too agrivating. I swear there was something else I wanted to say and I can't remember what it was.
One more thing though...I'd really appreciate if you guys would kinda lay off on the killing/dying jokes...especially the suicidal sounding ones, even if it's just "shoot me now" or "I think I'll just die now" or whatever in a totally kidding way...They've bothered me for a long time, but it's gotten worse lately...so...thanks.
