Jens Blog :-)

I don't even know why I'm writing now except that I don't know what else to do. Here's what happened today: Mr. Rowe signed up the marching band for another competition, on Corey's bday, so I got agrivated and complained to Corey. I told him how insecure I've been feeling and how scared I am of losing him...and apparently my fear wasn't out of nowhere, because he told me that we need to take a break..so we...sort of broke up. Neither of us likes those words-well obviously I don't because I don't even want a break. But if it's what he needs...okay. I can't exactly argue with that. I'm just going to hope that he sorts out whatever he's feeling and that it'll work out so that we end up back together eventually. I'm trying to be hopeful. I don't know if I'm just kidding myself or what, but he said we would try it temporarily, so right now I can't think of it as permanant, though I'm really scared that it will be. I'm kind of a wreck...ok I'm definitly a wreck...I didn't know eyelids could swell this much. Melissa and Austin took me out for a milkshake to try to cheer me up but I still feel awful. I don't even know how to act around him now...like tomorrow morning...we talked about how we don't want to lose our friendship so...should I still go hang out with him? I mean, it'll be ackward, but it's going to be ackward no matter what. I don't want to throw myself in front of him and go "here I am! Take me back!" or anything lol but I also don't think I can hope to get back together if I never see him. I'm confused. I don't even know what to feel right now except that it's not good. I love him and I honestly think I always will...Hannah yelled at me earlier and I don't even know what to think about it. She said for me to get over myself...this was before he told me he needed a break...and I don't know exactly what to make of it.
My eyes hurt. I'm hungry but the idea of eating makes me feel sick. I guess this is all I have to say...bye.