Friday, July 18, 2003
Hello again! *falls asleep* Very tired...but want to write for some reason. I even came up with a rough plot line for a story I started months ago and only got like four paragraphs of before giving up. I haven't written any more on it yet though. Tonight was full of RPGs-first one that has been continued by some people since Christmas break(!!!!!!!) and now a completely random one where a beer truck falls out of the sky with two people in it, me as a bird...haha, much fun. Haha, and now Anna (Deanna) and I are struggling to make the cars in the role play pink instead of black...Matt, Zach, and Jillian dissagree of course.
One big thing...one tear. Just one, last night...Improvement? I hope so. Not quite sure why I stopped-it certaintly startled me, so perhaps it just shocked me into stopping...Or is that all I can do now? Did I stop myself? After a few minutes I felt like crying again, but I wouldn't. I don't know if I could have, but I....I dunno. I guess I was a little scared to let myself continue. I don't know why it happened last night exactly though. I was reading a really sad book at the time, but it didn't feel like it was just from that. It's like...am I getting better and more able to let things out? Or was yesterday just so horrible that the buildup was stronger than the inability to let it out?
We're going roller skating tomorrow. At least thats easier than ice skating lol. I'll have to get out in the middle tomorrow to make it up to Matt; I know he was quite annoyed that I wouldn't at the Ice House. Oh well, I skated for a while in the middle with Megan and Jo to hang on to the last time we went roller skating, and even a little on my own...should be able to do it again...I guess I'd better anyway.
One big thing...one tear. Just one, last night...Improvement? I hope so. Not quite sure why I stopped-it certaintly startled me, so perhaps it just shocked me into stopping...Or is that all I can do now? Did I stop myself? After a few minutes I felt like crying again, but I wouldn't. I don't know if I could have, but I....I dunno. I guess I was a little scared to let myself continue. I don't know why it happened last night exactly though. I was reading a really sad book at the time, but it didn't feel like it was just from that. It's like...am I getting better and more able to let things out? Or was yesterday just so horrible that the buildup was stronger than the inability to let it out?
We're going roller skating tomorrow. At least thats easier than ice skating lol. I'll have to get out in the middle tomorrow to make it up to Matt; I know he was quite annoyed that I wouldn't at the Ice House. Oh well, I skated for a while in the middle with Megan and Jo to hang on to the last time we went roller skating, and even a little on my own...should be able to do it again...I guess I'd better anyway.
