Wednesday, April 21, 2004
16 minutes. Yeah, let's see how close to catching up I can get! Oops down to 15...
So we were listening to the lady talk and I was thinking about how prayers work...and it really bothered me because the last few days it seems like I'm constantly praying for my friends to be kept safe...I'm so paranoid about losing one (or more) of you guys...and you all know how active my imagination is...so I just kept thinking about how awful it would be to lose someone...and then Corey asked if I was ok...and he stroked me a little...and all I could think about was how horrible it would be to lose him...now or even much later when we're old...He's so wonderful to me...I took his hand and didn't let go of it for a while because the only thing I could think to do was cling to him...I had to when Ally got up to talk about Breann because I needed to give her a hug...and then I clung lots again. And I'm losing myself on the point I was trying to make...I'm confused about how things work now...because I keep praying for God to keep everyone safe and alive...but now I'm not sure exactly how He can do that...I talked to Anna about it some and that helped a little...but I'm still confused...and I wanted to ask at youth but I didn't want to cry infront of everyone and I knew if I started talking I'd be more of a mess than I already was...even Toby and a guy in our youth group were crying...ugh. We had lots of group hugs though...and I got myself back under control by the time we left because I didn't want anyone else to see me upset...meaning Corey's mom (she took us home) or my parents.
That's a good ending spot I guess...and I g2g in two minutes anyway...so...goodnight!
So we were listening to the lady talk and I was thinking about how prayers work...and it really bothered me because the last few days it seems like I'm constantly praying for my friends to be kept safe...I'm so paranoid about losing one (or more) of you guys...and you all know how active my imagination is...so I just kept thinking about how awful it would be to lose someone...and then Corey asked if I was ok...and he stroked me a little...and all I could think about was how horrible it would be to lose him...now or even much later when we're old...He's so wonderful to me...I took his hand and didn't let go of it for a while because the only thing I could think to do was cling to him...I had to when Ally got up to talk about Breann because I needed to give her a hug...and then I clung lots again. And I'm losing myself on the point I was trying to make...I'm confused about how things work now...because I keep praying for God to keep everyone safe and alive...but now I'm not sure exactly how He can do that...I talked to Anna about it some and that helped a little...but I'm still confused...and I wanted to ask at youth but I didn't want to cry infront of everyone and I knew if I started talking I'd be more of a mess than I already was...even Toby and a guy in our youth group were crying...ugh. We had lots of group hugs though...and I got myself back under control by the time we left because I didn't want anyone else to see me upset...meaning Corey's mom (she took us home) or my parents.
That's a good ending spot I guess...and I g2g in two minutes anyway...so...goodnight!
